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    9/27/2006

    you were my everything

    (Talking)this goes out to someone that was
    once the most important person in my life
    i didn't realize it at the time
    i can't forgive myself for the way i treated you so
    i don't really expect you to either
    it's just... i don't even know
    just listen...

    you're the one that i want, the one that i need
    the one that i gotta have just to succeed
    when i first saw you, i knew it was real
    i'm sorry about the pain i made you feel

    that wasn't me; let me show you the way
    i looked for the sun, but it's raining today
    i remember when i first looked into your eyes
    it was like god was there, heaven in the skies

    i wore a disguise 'cause i didn't want to get hurt
    but i didn't know i made everything worse
    you told me we were crazy in love
    but you didn't care when push came to shove

    if you loved me as much as you said you did
    then you wouldn't have hurt me like i ain't shit
    now you pushed me away like you never even knew me
    i loved you with my heart, really and truly

    i guess you forgot about the times that we shared
    when i would run my fingers through your hair
    late nights, just holding you in my arms
    i don't know how i could do you so wrong

    i really wanna show you i really need to hold you
    i really wanna know you like no one could else know you
    you're number one, always in my heart
    and now i can't believe that our love is torn apart

    refrain:i need you and
    i miss you and
    i want you and
    i love you 'cause
    i wanna hold you,
    i wanna kiss you
    you were my everything
    and i really miss you (2x)

    i knew you gonna sit and play this with your new man
    and then sit and laugh as you're holding his hand
    the thought of that just shatters my heart
    it breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

    at times we was off i was scared to show you
    now i wanna hold you until i can't hold you
    without you, everything seems strange
    your name is forever planted in my brain

    damn it, i'm insane,
    take away the pain
    take away the hurt
    baby, we can make it work

    what about when you
    looked into my eyes
    told me you loved me
    as you would hugged me

    i guess everything you said was a lie
    i think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
    now i'm not even a thought in your mind
    i can see clearly, my love is not blind

    refrain

    i just wish everything could have turned out differently
    i had a special feeling about you
    i thought maybe you did too
    you would understand, but...
    no matter what, you'll always be in my heart
    you'll always be my baby

    our first day, it seemed so magical
    i remember all the time that i had with you
    remember when you first came to my house?
    you looked like an angel wearing that blouse

    we hit it off, i knew it was real
    but now i can't take all the pain that i feel
    reach in your heart, i know i'm still there
    i don't wanna hear that you no longer care

    remember the times? remember when we kissed?
    i didn't think you would ever do me like this
    i didn't think you'd wanna see me depressed
    i thought you'd be there for me, this i confess

    you said you were my best friend, was that a lie?
    now i'm nothing to you, you're with another guy
    i tried, i tried, i tried, and i'm trying
    now on the inside it feels like i'm dying

    refrain

    [talking] and i do miss you
    i just thought we were meant to be
    i guess now, we'll never know
    the only thing i want is for you to be happy
    whether it be with me, or without me
    i just want you to be happy

    忽悠

    为什么伪装
    为什么冷漠
    其实掩饰不了什么
    内心的火热
    早把这周遭的空气溶化了
    冰与火从来就不能相遇
     
    空气里怎么有你背影的味道
    你说你是我的
    那么便是了
    什么命运
    什么天注定
    I don't care
     
    那道悬崖
    让我来
    跳过去
    奔过去
    冲过去
    闯过去
    因为你就在我隔壁
    散 发 臭 气
     
     
    9/24/2006

    FUN 4!

    我爱第四组!!!
     
    当妈回来了。很累,但也很开心。突然就多了这么多可爱的儿子女儿,听到有人喊我妈,呵呵,心里还挺美的。哈哈,谢谢你们夸我看起来年轻哈...hohoho...不过你们生日真的好小啊,一想差的这些个年数,还真是是觉得岁月弄人啊...不过还好,还没觉得有啥代沟哈。
     
    我儿个个玉树临风,我女个个倾国倾城。list一下他们的名字吧:马骁(北京),刘儇(湖南),张易(深圳),汤超(深圳),王伊凡(上海),付晓(湖北),江月(江苏),郭炜(北京),王新童(深圳),孟书琮(北京),陈奕思(北京)。都是些个性张扬,有才有识的孩子哈。青春无敌啊。有哪些位个才子佳人们有意于我儿我女们,速速与我联系哈,本人24小时热线是4444转4444,先到先得,多到多得,机不可失,失不再来哈。。。
     
    还有那是哪个组的小家伙,嘴真甜,说我像foudation的,哈哈,开心哈,收你当干儿子了。还有那又是哪个组的,前天狂灌白酒最high的,昨天玩“一生只能玩一次的游戏”很快玩出来的,今天帮我拎包那个,北京的吧,谢谢哈。北京人,我喜欢。说你不像北京人,给北京人民丢脸,哈哈,俺那是逗你玩儿哈。不过今天你那口卖拐,还挺地道的说。
     
    夸夸我们爸妈辈上的人物吧。卫志程,是这几个字吗,咳,别告诉我一个字没对,强烈崇拜啊,keyboard,guitar都玩得超转哈。好好听的回到过去,和东风破。。。
     
    胖子好强。有多少爱可以重来,还有今天那个hero,都够牛逼。你们那二大爷组是挺二大爷的。
     
    Viya的水母真人秀和行为艺术,再次传为一段佳话,声名远洋。
     
    还有张潮跟icy,我们的总策划,辛苦了辛苦了。
     
    MC,“香妃”和Vicky,辛苦了辛苦了。
     
    最后赞一下俺们家笨笨,孩子们他爸。笑起来特别灿烂的西安孩子。这么听姐姐的话,真乖~~真是比儿子都乖的老爸,嘿嘿嘿。。。姐弟恋看来还是益处多多的哈。。。还有,原来速配还是可以成功的。louha louha。。。 你的单手抱还是留着吧,俺不是对你没信心,俺是害怕其他众组爸太没面子。。。嘿嘿,嘿嘿。。。
     
    卖个广告再。我选择,我喜欢,下次你也来当妈吧,相信我,没错的,妈牌增高片,水果味,一天,一片,效果不错,还实惠。。。
     
    。。。。。。。
     
    好冷。。。
     
    被丢鸡蛋了,俺闪了。
     
    闪回来。最后一句哈。俺们的目标是:放肆(FUN 4)!!!
     
     
    9/20/2006

    鞥哼

    鞥哼。
    前几天看到不知哪个署名D的人的留言就想给自己鸣下不平呢。
    见儿子女儿的时候碰到个博士大哥,也被小批评了一下,说我在blog上说脏话。
    鞥哼。
    俺有不注意基本文明礼仪吗?
    俺很文明的啊。
    可是有些人有些事不骂不爽啊。
    骂错了我会道歉的。
    比如我已经发现有些误会上次被我骂的那个小秘书了。俺亲自向人家道歉了呢。而且还是必恭必敬的呢。
    但写出去的字如泼出去的水。
    南方的哥哥们无需大惊小怪哈。
    俺可是率性的北方女子哈。
     
     

    当妈了

    星期天见了儿子女儿们。
    偶然事件中的必然事件哈。
    都挺可爱滴。
    消除了之前的紧张和顾虑。
    咳,我就是想太多。
    都是可爱的孩子们呢。
    讨人爱着呢。
    当妈的人了。
    要打起精神啊。
    咱们家爸也好得很呢。
    又是偶然中的必然呢。
    哈哈。
    大家到时high起来哈。
    一家人。
     
     
    9/9/2006

    漫长又短暂的week one

     好久没来写了。
     
     一个星期原来可以这么长又这么短的。
     
     从济南出发回来香港的第一天就各种倒霉。呵呵,相信我已经像n多知心哥哥知心姐姐们抱怨过了,在此不再赘言,以免变成絮叨老太婆。总之一切都是可以趟过去的。其实痛苦是短暂的,对痛苦的焦虑才是漫长的。不过桔子说的那句话倒是老让我耿耿于怀:怎么这些个倒霉事总是让你给撞上!人家不都是红颜才薄命吗,我怎么颜一点儿也不红也那么薄命啊,我上辈子做下了什么孽啊!!!
     
     我上次骑车落下的病根,这次又重新发作了。估计要等到12月份才能回家给那神军医伯伯针灸一下才能恢复了。
     
     有喜必有忧。我是有忧必有喜。总算这学期的老师还算老师哈。Year One那某X某X那叫讲课吗,那叫讲的是英文吗。总算这学期给我撞到了几个听着耳朵舒服的professor。不容易啊不容易。那个讲Law的Antonio更是英文爆好又爆牛人,87-89年三年内因为law company的partner赚了10million HK$,然后就很潇洒的撒手不干了,来浸会教书了。说话很狂很霸气。呵呵,我就喜欢又拽又狂又霸气的人,如果他有又拽又狂又霸气的资本。“You have to achieve your top before you are 40." "You need some dream and some ambition."
     
     教Intermediate Accounting的Benjamin也是牛人。在美国教了十几年书刚回来香港。英语也是一等一的强。讲解也是一等一的细致周密。真可惜自己Year One打的烂底子。不知那某某某某都是怎么混的。虽然都很好人。可是讲课实在不敢恭维。
     
      这星期的Add/drop快把我折磨死了。大家为了调走一节课争一个课程某一个组的名额争的头破血流。我又不幸的开始了我的不红颜还是薄命的人生,因为那0.001秒的迟钝,错过了浸会最帅帅哥老师Davy Wu的Section。天呐,调课表这一星期简直是折寿啊,每学期这时候都要把我搞到抓狂!Totally 混乱+混乱+混乱。。。我现在的课表的时间分布和我原始的那个早已面目全非了。这整个过程中,我都在焦虑焦虑焦虑!!!这堂课调不到星期四下午两点半到五点半,我就没法加另外一门课,那堂课调不到星期一早上九点半到十二点半,这堂课就调不到星期四下午两点半到五点半,诸如此类,各种折磨。。。欺负我反应智商低嘛!这堂课0.001秒前还有一个名额,0.001秒之后就被抢了,那堂课在电脑系统处理了40分钟之后告诉我你不幸的被踢出局了,名额满了.......@×&*…#×@ % / / $ ^...  什么叫心烦意乱,就是这么写的。而且可怜我这学期基本上什么课都是单枪匹马,没有跟我们会计系的内地生在同一个组的。就我一个人在一堆陌生的香港人里面杵着。。。妈的,还有会计系的秘书态度也太恶劣了点儿吧,你凶什么凶啊你。我不就是打扰了你3分钟不到的休息时间吗。什么职业素质。真委屈自己,要不是找你加课,我也不可怜兮兮低声下气的求你呢。妈的。太委屈自己了。不过总算让我弄上了这个大家都选了的Accounting Infermation System,据说老师又是牛人。不过错过了第一堂,郁闷。
     
     去听了一节Management Information System,老师是个刚从加拿大留学回来的女学生,口语很流利,不过那课我真是没信心,总共不超过20个人,而且3/4是鬼佬。。。" I come from U.S", " I come from Switzerland ", " I ..." ....OH MY GOD, 跟满嘴鸟语的重鬼抢分。。。俺怕!俺还是闪吧。
     
     唉,还好了,还是有点转运的时候的,drop了这门,今儿个早上起来,报着最后一丝希望,竟然发现了一封回复我想和我调组的邮件。Happy!Happy!好Happy哈!!!这样我就终于可以跟会计我们那几个人一起上accounting information system了,而不用跟一堆鬼佬一起修什么management information system了。只需再去面对一次那让我厌恶的会计系秘书,再对着她低声下气一番。。。
     
    我忍。
     
    刚回来就听到一堆“想家”的声音。唉,不管我们这群孩子表面装的多么成熟,其实都是些内心脆弱需要呵护的孩子。
     
    Jerry说早就习惯了什么事情都是一个人。一个人去,又一个人回来。
    呵呵,我说我也是啊。
    不过还是隐隐的感觉有点酸。
     
    我说因为不成熟因为还是小孩子,才会那么矛盾又疑惑。
    高说因为成熟了才会想那么多。
    我说反而想越多越矛盾,越不明白自己。
     
    那又拽又狂又霸气的Antonio说的那个snake circle真的是一点没错。不过真的很羡慕他早就可以达到不惑的境界了。不知自己哪时才能有像他一样自信又有力的声音。
     
    第一天到香港,跟小熊,谢璐,桔子还有阿澈去桃源吃饭。发现我们真的都好大了。简直就像个小学生一样可爱的傻兮兮的小熊竟也说好想尽快结婚,说什么三十岁之前一定要生小孩,云云云云。我们大家就唏嘘着。又沉默了,各自惆怅各自的命数。说到了那几些个让人羡煞的姐姐们,学业一流又出国订了婚,怎是一个羡字了得。什么叫只羡鸳鸯不羡仙啊。咋咋。我们大家就又唏嘘了。又沉默,各自不知在想什么。
     
    其实回家那十天就发现大家的话题都变了。跟琳儿和鲁青坐在麦当劳里聊天,大家关心的担心的也变成了这样一些关键词:"学业","考托","毕业以后","工作","考研?","出国?","前途","嫁人! 嫁谁?"。。。王琳给我说了12班最完美例子--程蕾,她是浙大土木工程的,男朋友也是浙大学建筑的,家就在浙江,两个人也是超幸福,他家七大姑八大姨她都见过了,所以也算是尘埃落定了。琳儿用了尘埃落定这个词儿。尘埃落定,多好的词儿啊。我和琳儿异口同声。尘埃落定,成了我们现在最向往的词儿。
     
    不过我坚持,不管怎样,一定要在尘埃落定前真真正正的谈场恋爱吧。安安心心的。现在真的不想要什么扑朔迷离,捉摸不定,波澜起伏了。就是真真正正的,安安心心的,尘埃落定的谈一场恋爱吧。如果没有那种命,我宁可什么也不要。